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Red Strings of Fate - Chapter 13
by Lauren (unicornhime)
at October 17th, 2009 (10:49 am)
sleepy

current mood: sleepy

Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: AH AU When Edward finally gets the chance at getting the girl, he has no idea what to do, so he turns to a message board call The Red Strings of Fate. A story told in technology.
Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just pretending to hack their computers and cell phones.





Previous Chapter
FFNET LINK






REPLY TO YOUR POST
Fortunexcookie posted:
Ok, so I’m updating everyone on our favorite couple’s behalf. Tonight’s peaceful plan of just relaxing on home? Yeah, cancel that and replace it with his older brother kidnapping them for family dinner. Physical force was involved. This is all I know.
I demand an explanation.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Death_and_taxes posted:


Wow, now we’re adding kidnapping? Are we sure this is real life?

---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Anon posted:
FINALLY, someone on my side.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:
I still think it’s real. I’ve known some moms to be pretty insane.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Squishy posted:
Wow, this guy really can’t catch a break, can he?

***

FR: EDWARD
555-1912

-
You are so dead.

FR: EMMETT
555-1935

-
Stop being a baby and say it to me like a man, not by texting me under the table.

***

FR: BELLA
555-3285

-
Alice. Just kill me now, please.

FR: ALICE
555-9493

-
What is going on? I’m dying over here! And the emergency call offer is still good you know.

FR: BELLA
555-3285

-
I think that would only make things worse. I’m going to die of embarrassment before the night is over.

FR: ALICE
555-9493

-
Oh no. You call me as soon as possible, ok? Also, Jasper will beat someone up for you if you want.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST
Fortunexcookie posted:
I don’t know how things are going, but it doesn’t sound good. I’m getting texts from her, and they’re making me nervous. Apparently that_boy’s mom is going to embarrass her to death.
Argh, I don’t like not knowing what is going on!!

***

FR: EDWARD
555-1912

-
I am really, really sorry. Please come back out here. I promise we can leave now.

FR: BELLA
555-3285

-
Can you sneak me out the back or something? Please?

FR: EDWARD
555-1912

-
Sorry, my mom’s too smart for me to get away with that. You just have to say goodbye and I’ll do the rest.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)
From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: I’ve survived
---
But I don’t want to relive that right now. Can I just call you in the morning? Or tell you in class? I need to recuperate.
-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: Of course, sweetie
---
I’m assuming you’re with Edward, right? And that he’ll hog you for the rest of the night? Or can I get the details from him?
Hearts,
Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)
From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: You assume correctly
---
And I’m not going to let you harass him, either. Leave him alone, ok? You barely know him, and I think he’s been traumatized enough for one day.
-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST
Fortunexcookie posted:
Alright, we’re out of luck until the morning. She doesn’t want to relive it right now, and I’ve been given orders to leave them alone. Maybe that_boy will get online when he leaves? Ugh, I seriously need to know.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
DRHB posted:
I hope they weren’t scarred for life. A mother’s …affection can be a scary thing.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Sparklemotion posted:
I bet it was one epic family dinner. And that brother guy sounds pretty hot. I bet he’s really strong. :D
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
SmoothCriminal posted:
You want strong? Well stand still so I can pick you up!
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Sparklemotion posted:
No.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: Still alive?
-----
You ready to face Monday? After last night, I think you’ll be ready for anything.
Just remember, this weekend we’ll be out of the city, and they won’t be able to get to us.
-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)
From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: Yeah, still here
----
I guess I have to, don’t I? At least I’ll get to see you. And I have a great How I Met the Parents story now, right?
-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)
From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: That’s the spirit
-----
Plus, she loves you already, regardless of how last night went. She called me early this morning to gush about how great you were and to scold me for not letting her meet you earlier. And I think there was an apology for “if she came on too strong” that I’m pretty sure my Dad put her up to.
At any rate, I’ll see you soon.
-Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST
Fortunexcookie posted:
Alright, ladies and gents, I got the scoop. And since Edward is taking his sweet time, it’s up to me to fill you all in. B told me the story after our class this morning.
As you know, she and Edward were planning on spending a quiet night at his apartment. Alas, it was not to be. Edward got some texts that put him on edge a little, but didn’t tell B what they said, claiming it was just his brother being a nuisance. Then, not a half hour after she got there, his brother comes pounding on the door.
At first, Edward refuses to open the door, but his brother just threatens to break it down. And he’s a big guy and could totally do it, too, so Edward reluctantly let him in.
B reports that his brother said, “Nice to see you again. I’ve been instructed to pick you up for dinner.” Then he just grinned and literally picked her up.
Edward shouted at him and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing, and his brother, with B slung over his shoulder, just shrugged and said he was following orders.
Well, then he left and Edward had no choice but to follow them down to the car. Meanwhile B is already embarrassed out of her mind and a bit angry at being carried out, but can’t get away because Edward’s brother is too big and too strong for her to fight off. She told me she’s planning on investing in some pepper spray, which is actually probably a good thing.
But anyway, on the car ride over, she texted me and that was when I alerted all of you. She was pretty much freaking out, but there wasn’t really anything for her to do but go through with it at this point. And she said Edward was staring daggers at and threatening his brother the whole ride over, and that made her feel a little better.
So they finally get to the house, and apparently Mr. Internet Poster’s parents are well off. B said the house was beautiful and huge and hugely intimidating. By this time, Edward’s brother let her walk on her own, and Edward held her hand in support (aww, good job) as they walked up to the door.
His parents were there right away, of course, and greeted her enthusiastically. His mom gave her a hug and everything, and started talking right away about how excited she was to meet B.
The evening progresses in a fairly normal fashion and B said she was starting to relax.
Cue the questioning and the awkwardness. Some of the questions B said she was asked included:
~How many kids she wanted
~Her dress size
~How many guys she dated before Edward
~The appropriate length of an engagement
Yeah. I couldn’t believe it either. Edward, seriously, what happened there? Apparently this was all before a dish was even served! How did you just sit by and let this happen to her? The only explanation I got from B was that your brother was keeping you busy/distracted.
Anyway, then they went on to the actual meal, and B had the attention off of her for a little bit, much to her relief, as Mother Dearest caught up with Edward’s brother’s wife.
Blah blah blah, that part was boring, so we can skip to dessert. B wanted to do something that made her looks good, plus my girl has manners, so she offered to help serve and bring out the huge cheesecake (that made my mouth water just thinking about it…strawberries and cheesecake. Mmm, yummy. Sorry, I digress.)
Now, my poor B is a little…spastic when it comes to multitasking things like walking and carrying something. I don’t know what it is, but I thought she grew out of tripping over her own shoelaces when she traded sneakers for flats. Apparently I was mistaken.
Poor thing not only tripped while carrying two plates of cheesecake, she broke her fall with her boyfriend’s mother’s chest – and then as she backed up, trying to apologize, she backed right into her boyfriend, who was also carrying two plates! She ended up with strawberry goo and cheesecake goodness all over her top and with her butt on the floor.
Now, she’s completely horrified and does what any sane person would do and flees to the bathroom, claiming to get cleaned up real quick, when actually thinking that locking herself in there and never coming out again sounds like a fantastic idea.
Edward finally comes to his senses and realizes it’s very much time for them to go and coaxes B out of the bathroom. His mom is actually really sweet about the whole thing and tells B not to worry about it (she’d completely changed clothes by the time B resurfaced). Then of course, she launched the story about when she met her husband’s parents for the first time (no lie, emphasis on the “her”). Said husband was an angel and bid farewell to B, cutting his wife off, and telling her it was a pleasure to meet her, even if the meeting was a bit unconventional.
And that’s pretty much it, I think.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)
From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: Bella and dinner
-----
I forgot to ask you when I called earlier, but is Bella going to be a regular guest now? I need to know for future meal planning purposes, you know, so I can make enough and set enough plates.
Love,
Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)
From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)
Subject: Are you serious?
-----
I’ll be amazed if she ever willingly comes over again after last night. We need to discuss personal boundaries again, don’t we?
But I am glad you like her, all things considered. She is pretty amazing.
-Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST
Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:
Wow. Way to leave your girl in the lurch there, buddy. Good thing I don’t know where you live or I’d have to come beat you up for putting her through that.
---
REPLY TO YOUR POST
Sparklemotion posted:
What, no more details about the hot brother? Boring.
I think she handled it like a champ, though. She pretty much has my stamp of approval. Not that a complete stranger’s approval matters or anything, but you know. Whatever. :D
---
REPLY TO THE POST
That_boy posted:
Ok, let me defend myself here. While my mom was attacking her, my brother and his wife were attacking me. I was trying to cover all sides, but I was completely overwhelmed. My brother is an idiot and kept making all these innuendos and I didn’t even know what to do with my mother. Usually my dad can keep her crazy side in check, but he seemed just as eager to meet her. He just remembered how to act like a normal human being.
I was caught off guard and have no good excuse for not protecting her from my family. But she’s already moved on, because that’s how amazing she is, so let’s all do the same.
I found this really cool bracelet that I decided would be my gift for her on Saturday. It’s red and silver kind of braided together? Whatever you call that. And I thought it was appropriate seeing as this board – The Red Strings of Fate – brought us together and all. And before you all get started, then, if I can work myself up to do it, I will tell her everything.
And that’s pretty much that. Until this weekend…
---
REPLY TO THE POST
Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:
I still think you’re a douche.

TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)

SUBJECT: WE PASSED 500 REVIEWS~

----------
I was so, so excited about that. This is my first fic to reach that many, and then, Love Is Watching Someone Die got there just a couple days later! So that was amazing. Thank you all so much!
Sorry for the delay again, I had some serious real life issues going on. I think things are settled down a bit now, so the next updates shouldn't be so far apart. Plus I want to finish before November because I'm doing NaNoWriMo. :D

Thanks again to all those who review, and of course to bublichka for her speed beta-ing skills.

Hearts and Love,
unicornhime
PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers

Comments

Posted by: Chloe (gracefulstars)
Posted at: October 17th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)

AHHHHHHHHHH CHEESECAKE FIASCO!!!! CRAZYNESSS!!!!! CAN'T WAIT FOR MOOORE!!!!!

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